Official Style: Friend or Foe?

By Maggie Marks

Often during college courses, the texts that are required for us to engage with and learn from are written in a way that is difficult to comprehend during the first read through. I find myself not fully comprehending the meaning until the second or third time through (or in some instances I need to hear someone explain pieces of it in words that aren’t horrifically dense). If you can think of a time that you have felt like this reading for school, then you have most likely read something in official style. Official style is a complex tool that can be used to show the sophistication and credibility that an author holds within their field. However, there are times in which using this style can hurt more than help the efforts of the piece.

The case study Incorporating Community Grant Writing as a Service-Learning Project in a Nonprofit Studies Course was written by two University of Washington Tacoma employees, William Towey and Ruth Bernstein. William Towey is the Senior Director of Business Development, and Ruth Bernstein is an Assistant Professor in Nonprofit Studies. The case study was published in the Journal of Nonprofit Education and Leadership, section Teaching Case Study. The purpose of the case study was to analyze the relationship between university students seeking to become grant writers and nonprofit organizations; and how this relationship can improve to best benefit both parties. To do this, students are paired with local Washington nonprofits in a service-learning structure to provide students with real-life experience, and consequently improve the nonprofit’s ability to produce grant proposals.

I found this case study while browsing the good ol’ Google Scholar for articles written about grant writing for nonprofit organizations. Considering the place the case study was published, and who the authors are, the article seems to be written for educational purposes. However, the reason for using official style feels as though it is persuasive in nature. The complex sentence structure and hefty vocabulary used provides credibility and portrays confidence in the evidence that was accumulated during the case study to convince their audience, both the students and the nonprofits, to reframe the way that they structure their relationships.

The question of whether or not official style is a friend or foe in this instance is best understood when looked at through both the lenses of the university and the nonprofit organizations. I stated my analysis by thinking like the college student that I am.

“Observing students and their nonprofit community partners build relationships rooted in the excitement of mutual learning and benefit was demonstrated clearly throughout the class as students became increasingly informed and passionate about their partners and the staff from the community organizations became equally excited about their increased ability to write a great grant.” (pp. 309)

Sentences such as these demonstrate the type of official style writing that students are accustomed to when learning in a university setting. The most notable aspect should be the fact that this passage is one sentence when it could clearly be divided up in smaller and easier to digest sections. This causes us to see a much more bureaucratic and verbose strategy being utilized. We as college students are fairly comfortable dissecting the meaning and nuance behind official style texts and feel welcome in this sphere. We have a mutual agreement between us students and higher education officials that this is the type of writing that we use to communicate with each other. To display convincing information this is the unspoken rule that needs to be followed to correctly communicate within the world of higher education. This is an example of official style being a friend to the university and the individuals connected with it. We see official style for its intention: a persuasive and effective tool to display the authors solid grasp of the concepts to the point of superior knowledge and understanding.

            On the other side of the coin there is another player who is being written about in this case study. Individuals who work for nonprofits differ from college students in the way that there is a potential for higher variability between the type of individuals involved. More often than not, nonprofits are underfunded and stretched thin. There is no guarantee that the individuals involved have an equal level educational background. Additionally, writing to them in this style could cause an unfair presumption that these people have time or resources to decipher the information being thrown their way. A service-learning approach that is being proposed to these nonprofits may truly be a beneficial choice, however the way that the information is displayed to them could be more effective in a clear and simple matter.

“Effective service learning based on a reciprocal outcome model provides a platform upon which secondary benefits of broader community engagement and participation may emerge for students, nonprofits, university, and community that extend the operational horizon of all participants. Deeper and potentially transformative experiences for learners occur as they enjoy the benefits of seeing their work support a cause in which they believe while gaining satisfaction from helping those in need (Cress et al., 2013).” (pp. 302)

This section is a very good example of a slow sentence opening, the point of the sentence doesn’t reveal itself until around the second half. Which begs the question of whether or not the first sentence is needed at all. There is also an impersonal or passive nature to all of the “action” that is being proposed/ talked about within this passage. It is difficult to decide what the main point of this section is, and because of this it feels exclusive against the nonprofit individuals. This is especially harmful considering this “Literature Review” section is all about reviewing what previous knowledge exists about nonprofit interactions and how they can improve. It seems to me like the nonprofits should be an equal part of this conversation. With this style of writing though, we can see how they are considered to be that.

            To wrap things up, the official style usage in this passage isn’t as clear cut a question as originally thought. It is not as easy as whether it is a friend or a foe. It should be more about the role that it plays when considering the audience that it is reaching. Official style is a regular occurrence in the world of higher education, while it can still exclude and be a hassle to decipher at times, there is a more minor chance for full exclusion of individuals. The nonprofits are where the use of official style can become advantageous or not welcoming. The irony comes especially when the main purpose for the article was to create a mutually beneficial relationship between the two parties. There should not be an opportunity for this level of disconnection. Because of this the use of official style is both helpful and harmful in this case study.