Sorrow and Joy

For those of you who do not know already from reading my sister's blog, my Father passed away on Thursday after going into the ER Monday night with complications related to his blood thinner.  I spent almost every waking moment with him those last days, and they were a gift to me.  My dear sister Claudia arrived early Wednesday evening and was able to spend some really nice time with my Dad, and me of course, before he took a turn for the worse early Thursday afternoon.  He passed away with two of his daughters and his wonderful helper Stacey surrounding him with love.  It was humbling to be allowed to be present through his transition.  Humbling, amazing, sad and beautiful.  I am so glad he allowed us the opportunity to be by his bedside those last few days, taking care of him on a very basic level and giving us the chance to say how much we love him, share memories and tell him what a great Dad he was.  I hope that I am that lucky, to be surrounded by love because at the end of our lives that is all that matters.  It has been an exhausting week, thank God for my sister's presence here, I could not have done this on my own,   She is my rock.

In the midst of our pain and sorrow we had a little one to get ready for Halloween.  He had a big class celebration on Friday, so after we said our goodbyes to my Father we had to come home and decorate a walker for a very special pirate.  My dear friend Lynda in North Carolina prepared all of the walker decorations and sent them down.  We put it all together and it was very therapeutic.  Because even if you are sad and have just gone through a very profound experience, life keeps moving forward.  I have found that this precious little boy of mine, who spreads his magic everywhere, has made me smile, laugh and even get a little cross at his antics, but he is moving me forward.   He is helping my sister, too.  How can you not laugh when you are playing pirate?

For all of you who have sent me personal messages, I thank you so much.  I will get back with you soon I promise.  I have stayed off my blog, stayed off my email for the most part and just tried to stay present with what is going on.  There is so much to do to get his place packed up, his estate settled, but we can take that day by day.  For now Claudia and I will do what we can in the short time she is here, we will laugh at this little magic boy and enjoy our time together before she returns home tomorrow.

Hugs to you all.